When parents divorce, the consequences of the separation do not solely impact the divorcing couple. The divorce also impacts the extended family of the divorced couple, especially the grandparents. For many grandparents, their relationship with their grandchildren is very important to them and can be greatly impacted by their children’s divorce.
Many people assume that grandparents have an automatic legal right to spend time with their grandchildren. However, the law does not give grandparents an automatic legal right to spend time with their grandchildren. Instead, the law provides a method for grandparents to seek permission from a judge for permission to continue to have a relationship with their grandchildren.
If the grandparents request permission to continue having a relationship with their grandchildren, the court has the authority to grant or deny that request. To determine whether the grandparents can continue to have a relationship with their grandchildren, the court will examine the “best interest of the child.” This means that the court examines which arrangement will best serve the needs and interests of the child.
To assist in determining the best interest of the child, courts consider several factors. Some of those factors include:
- Whether the grandparents have a prior relationship with the child
- The wishes of the child regarding the grandparents
- Whether the grandparents were involved in the daily care and upbringing of the child
- The potential negative effect of limiting contact with the grandparents on the child
- Whether there are any other circumstances which would be detrimental to the child
When Grandparents Will Typically Pursue Legal Action
Typically, grandparents will only pursue legal action with the help of Maatouks to seek permission to have contact with their grandchildren after all other avenues have been exhausted. There are three common scenarios in which grandparents may seek permission to have contact with their grandchildren.
First, when the parents of the children separate and one of the parents blocks the children from visiting the grandparents. The reason for blocking the visitation can be due to conflict between the parent and the grandparents, or the parent may block contact with the grandparents to prevent the children from being influenced by the grandparents or the other side of the family.
Second, when the parent dies and the surviving parent cuts off the family of the deceased parent from contact with the grandchildren. Unfortunately, this occurs more than it should, and leaves grieving grandparents without the opportunity to connect with their grandchildren during an emotionally trying time.
Third, when the children are removed from the custody of their parents due to abuse, neglect, etc., and the grandparents wish to be considered as caregivers for the grandchildren. In many cases, grandparents are willing to provide a safe, loving home for the grandchildren, rather than have them placed with complete strangers.
The Court Process and How It Works
Pursuing court orders to gain permission to have contact with your grandchildren is a costly and time-consuming process. First, you must file a petition with the family court requesting permission to have contact with your grandchildren. Then, you must provide evidence of your relationship with the children and the importance of having contact with them.
In addition to providing evidence of your relationship with the children, you must also demonstrate to the court that the children would benefit from having contact with you. The stronger the evidence of your relationship with the children, the greater the likelihood that the court will grant you the permission to have contact with them.
The parents of the children will likely have the opportunity to respond to your petition and explain why they object to the children having contact with you. The objections made by the parents can be based upon a variety of reasons. For example, the parents may argue that they are concerned for the safety of the children if they visit with you, or that you have previously engaged in behaviors which could harm the children.
However, if the parents object to the children having contact with you based upon adult conflicts or to exert control over the children, the court will view these objections in a different light.
Having experienced family attorneys help guide you through the process can aid you in understanding what types of evidence will be most beneficial, and how to present your case to focus on the welfare of the children. The process can be a daunting experience for many people, and understanding how courts evaluate these types of cases can make a great deal of difference in the ultimate outcome of your case.
What Factors Do Judges Consider When Making Decisions Regarding Contact Between Grandchildren and Grandparents?
There are many factors that judges will consider when making decisions about whether or not a grandparent should have contact with their grandchildren. The most important factor is the relationship the child had (or currently has) with the grandparent. If the grandparent has been a part of the child’s everyday life, such as helping with homework, taking the child to school, and spending regular time with the child, the court is more likely to allow contact with the grandparent.
Additionally, the court will consider the views of the child, but only to the extent that the child is able to express a view. Generally, older children have a greater ability to express a view about contact with a grandparent, whereas younger children may not have the cognitive abilities to form a view.
Any history of domestic violence or abusive behavior by the grandparent will be heavily scrutinized. The court will not order contact between a child and a grandparent if it determines that the contact will put the child in harm’s way, even if the child has a good relationship with the grandparent.
The court will also consider the practical implications of granting contact to the grandparent on the child’s life. For example, if granting contact to the grandparent would cause significant disruptions to the child’s routine, living arrangements, or relationship with their primary caregiver, the court may weigh the potential benefits of the relationship against the potential harms.
Reality of These Types of Cases
One of the realities of these cases is that they can take months or even years to resolve. The process of resolving these disputes can be lengthy, requiring multiple court appearances, reports from family consultants, and opportunities for mediation.
Furthermore, the emotional toll of pursuing these cases can be significant. Grandparents may find themselves in a battle with their own children or children-in-law in an attempt to gain permission to see their grandchildren. Even if the grandparents ultimately prevail in their quest for contact, it is unlikely that the relationships between the grandparents and the children of their children will ever be the same again.
The financial burden of pursuing these types of cases can also be substantial. The costs associated with hiring an attorney, filing court papers, and possibly retaining experts to testify on behalf of the grandparents can be very expensive. In fact, it is not uncommon for grandparents to incur thousands of dollars in expenses in pursuit of obtaining permission to see their grandchildren.
Alternatives to Litigation
Not all of these cases will require litigation. In some cases, the conflict can be resolved through mediation or counseling. If the conflict is caused by poor communication or unaddressed grief and anger, mediation or counseling can help the parties to work through the conflict and develop a plan for the future of the children.
Family Dispute Resolution allows each party to be heard and to negotiate a solution that meets the needs of all parties. Often times, courts require parties to attempt this type of resolution before hearing a case.
Some grandparents may find it helpful to give their children space to address their feelings and calm down before attempting to reconnect with their grandchildren. In some cases, giving the parties space may allow them to heal and eventually reconnect in a healthy manner.
Outcome of Obtaining Permission to See Grandchildren
For grandparents who obtain permission to see their grandchildren, the court order will establish a legal basis for their interaction with their grandchildren. However, the court order will not automatically repair the damaged relationships between the grandparents and the children of their children. Repairing those relationships will take time, effort, and commitment from all parties involved.
Those grandparents who do not obtain permission to see their grandchildren, or who attempt to do so and fail, face a difficult and often heartbreaking reality. Waiting for their children to change their minds can mean waiting indefinitely, and those who accept that they cannot see their grandchildren may experience profound grief. The loss of such an important relationship can deeply affect their emotional wellbeing and sense of family connection. While the path forward may be painful, seeking support, understanding legal options, and focusing on maintaining hope for future reconciliation can help grandparents navigate this challenging time with strength and dignity.
